What do we live for?

Why do we live? Or, rather, what do we live for? Seems like an easy question to answer, really. That is, until you think about it. I mean, really think about it. 

The answer, I would imagine, varies from person to person. We all have different lives, different values, different things to deal with and different views on issues. I can’t presume to know what everyone lives for. I can only tell you what I’ve lived for and what I live for now. 

It’s not easy, finding a purpose to life. We are all creatures of society. There are things society expects from us. We are to be good, obedient children. Then we are to be good, obedient and hardworking students. Then we are to be good, obedient, hardworking workers. Then we are supposed to have kids, continue to be obedient workers and then we are supposed to die. 

Morbid, I know. But that’s what society expects from us. 

I’ve never been good at societal norms. I wanted to be, when I was a kid, what with the peer pressure and everything. You just want to be accepted, I think. That’s a huge part of human nature. We want to belong. If there are kids reading this, I want you to know, it gets better. In that, I no longer care about peer pressure. I am too old to try to be cool. To try and fit in. I can’t be bothered. And that is a good thing. Only when you let go of the expectations of other people can you fulfill your expectations to yourself. It sounds like obscure gibberish, but it is true. Let me elaborate…

You had dreams. You had aspirations. Maybe you liked doodling. Maybe you liked to daydream. Maybe you liked singing. Maybe you wrote poems. But then you forgot. You started trying to fit in with other kids. Kids who were not into these things. I had it easy because I didn’t have many friends growing up. Not really. Though, I have met people who have forgotten their inner child because people thought dreaming wasn’t cool. Being different was bad because being different wasn’t the cool thing. 

Fuck that. 

If you want to put on two different socks, put on two different socks and be proud. If you think that poem you had in your mind could be the new Beowulf, go ahead and write that motherfucker. Kick ass and take names. Be all you can be. 

Most of us have jobs, but only a few of us are lucky enough to do what we love for a living. No one dreams of being an accountant. Did you play air guitar to some kickass songs? It’s never too late to start learning guitar. Did you draw comics as a kid and make up your own characters? Do it now. Let your creativity flow. The world is at your fingertips now. Start a webcomic. I want to read your comics. I am pretty sure there are others like me who want to read them too. 

Things are going to get you down, but don’t let it keep you down. Life will punch you in the gut. It’s your choice to lay down and let life keep kicking your ass, or get up and make life your bitch. We all lose track sometimes. Sometimes we all feel lost. Without purpose. Maybe sometimes we feel like we’re a burden. But we owe it to ourselves to try and fulfill our potential, whatever that might be. Find your purpose. You will. I know you will. 

One thing I know for sure is that your happiness is not tied to someone else’s. The love of your life cheated on you? That’s not the love of your life. You’ll find that special someone. That big promotion you were waiting for went to someone else? Go somewhere where you’re appreciated. Or work harder. 

Listen, no one has it figured out. We’re all making it up as we go along. Find that thing that the inner child of yours wanted to do. Maybe that’s the key. Like I said, I don’t know. I can’t speak for anyone else, I can only speak for me. 

What do I live for?

I live for life. I love life. I love my home. I love this fucking beautiful country I live in. I love the people around me. My family, my friends. I live for them, because they love me. And I love them. I live for music, because music makes me feel things in my soul. I live for movies because they fascinate me. I live for literature because I’ve been reading since I could… well… read. Books make me think about things. Books teach me lessons. I live because I haven’t done it yet, whatever it is that I have to do in this world. I don’t know what it is yet, but I feel like I’d know when I’ve done it. I live because I want to see more of the world, meet a lot of interesting people, eat some delicious food. I live for conversations because I love conversing. I hate small talk. I love conversations. I lived because I feel like I haven’t lived yet. I’m starting to, after a long time, experience the excitement of life. 

Dare to dream. Dare to be different. Dare to be yourself, and find yourself. 

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream at night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity. The dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes to make them possible.”    -   T.E. Lawrence

2015: A Look Back

2015 was a bleak year for the most part. It was sad for a lot of reasons. It was frustrating, it was also grim. I'm not just using ominous sounding words here, these are feelings I felt throughout the course of the past year. But it was also a year that I can say, without any exaggeration, was absolutely amazingly brilliant as well. 

The year started kind of 'meh' for me, and it got worse. I was at a job that I no longer liked, and there was no room for me to grow there. I had learned all I can from there, which is not to say I didn't learn much. I learned a lot from that place and gained a lot of on the job experience. Unfortunately, I knew I had to step away and start doing new things, so I quit. No safety net. No backup plan. I jumped without a parachute.

Best decision I ever made. 

Thankfully I was lucky enough to be part of a lot of very cool projects this year. The biggest being able to take part in the making of the documentary of the rebuilding of the legendary Maldivian boat Kalhuohfummi. It was being built on a small island in the north of Maldives called H.Dh. Neykurendhoo. I got to go and stay for a while, eat homemade food, get great footage of amazing sunsets and beautiful island scenery and seascapes. I got to, for the first time in my life, see the Milky Way with my eyes. Without aid from a camera or whatever. It was a bit overwhelming, I have to admit. I felt so small and insignificant while witnessing only a part of this great grand galaxy. 

I will cherish that memory forever.

Other than the privilege of seeing a boat out of legend being built by a team of some of the most insanely talented boat builders in the Maldives, I also got to experience so many other things.

I also saw my first shooting star, which, I have to say, might be the best shooting star that was ever witnessed by any of mankind in the past or will in the future. True story. 

I've sailed in a tiny boat on a day when the sea was so calm I didn't know when the ocean ended and the sky began. Not a ripple in sight. 

I've also been on a small speedboat and there were, like, a dozen or so flying fish swimming and flying alongside it. It was majestic. They were literally a foot away from me. That was between Kulhudhuffushi and Hanimaadhoo in Haa Dhaalu Atoll.

I've reconnected with old friends and made new ones. It is always so great to meet new people who're cool. Cool people are so hard to come by. You know when you've made a friend when you can converse with them easily for hours. Conversation is something which I really enjoy. I despise small talk. 

Then, later this year, my friend wanted to make a food stall and everyone just jumped on board. No fucking questions. The World's End Tavern at Shinzou Con 2015 was, in my opinion, a huge success. Thanks in no small part to everyone who helped. Friendship is a beautiful thing. You know you're with the right people when they look out for you. A lot of my friends even came to visit the stall. It was the most fun I had had in a crowded place this year. 

There's a lot of other stuff too, but I'm not going to write everything down. Some memories are just for me. Some moments are just mine. 

The point to all this, if you're wondering, is that the only thing standing between you and being happy, is that step. That step that you are dreading to take because you're afraid things will not be the same level of comfy. I won't lie, there were times I struggled, and struggled hard. I was doubting myself sometimes.But I was lucky enough to be surrounded by friends and loved ones who believed in me, and I was doing absolutely amazing things. I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad, any day. All that was worth it. I made so many happy memories this past year. I've been able to actually hang out more with the people I love. I've been able to learn a lot of things. I'm a more positive person, and I think it makes the world a better place when you're putting out positive vibes instead of being glum all the time. Be nice to someone and they'll be nice to someone else too.

Be happy, people. Jump.

PS. Don’t jump literally. It is a metaphor within the broader context of this post.